What Breast Cancer Wants to Tell You

As I saw the initial posts for Pink October, a deep calling emerged within me to address a subject that has woven through the lives of countless women. Over the years, I've stood alongside many, both as a therapist and a friend, as they confronted such health challenge. Today, I dive deep into this conversation, for you, for me, for us women. This dialogue is an opportunity for us to come together, to understand better each other and to offer each other unwavering support and make things better, initially for ourselves and eventually for the generations that follow.

What if, instead of seeing this condition as the enemy we have to fight, we considered it a powerful messenger with knowledge to share, a companion on our journey? After all, the way we perceive this word and what it means for us is a personal decision.

There's a saying by Jacques Martel that reverberates with profound wisdom: "Such a type of cancer generally indicates deeply rooted attitudes and thoughts from early childhood".

I realize that this message is not an easy one to convey, but today, I feel a deep resonance with it, and I hope you will accept it with the same warmth and openness with which I have decided to share it.

Those diagnoses typically arrive as unwelcome guests, catching us unawares and leaving us wondering, "Why me?", “Why her?”

Yet, as strange as it might sound, breast cancer carries an unspoken message, one that it longs to communicate — for a very, very long time…

While I can't speak for every woman, I can share what I've learned from the women I've known who faced this challenge. It's evident that profound transformations had to happen in their lives.

Jacques Martel's words come to mind: "It has been found that this type of cancer generally stems from a strong inner sense of guilt".

For many, this transformation involved moving away from the role they thought they should play, one that focused entirely around fulfilling the expectations of others. It signified a deep awakening - the realization that they had neglected themselves, believing they were unworthy of love and care. In their quest to make others happy, they had pushed aside their true selves, all the while struggling with inner turmoil and discontentment.

Our breasts represent the nurturing essence that's so integral to being a woman, especially within the context of motherhood. They stand for femininity and the love and care we provide to our families, partners, and society at large. When there's an issue with the breasts, it can indicate insecurities linked to how well we can nurture and protect those we hold dear. It might also reveal our difficulties in expressing our true feelings and finding the right balance between our roles as mothers and fulfilled women. These inner conflicts are a tumultuous journey towards finding harmony, where a woman needs to recognize a struggle, either within herself or involving someone else, a battle that invades her sacred space - her 'little nest.' The symptoms, the way they show up physically, are the body's method of expressing unresolved life matters that it's been holding in silence.

If a woman is met with this health challenge, it serves as a signal, a message to explore the deep-rooted pain associated with unreciprocated love. It might be the sense of immense love offered to someone that was never met with an equal response, or worse, it could be about love being mistreated, hurt, or taken advantage of.

When such thoughts embed themselves deeply, they start affecting our feelings and our perspective on the world. We begin to notice the countless ways we've felt unloved, taken advantage of, and neglected. Our journey is paved with acts of self-sacrifice, placing the happiness of others above our own, until a pivotal moment arrives when our body makes a powerful statement: "This must end!"

Jacques Martel's insight rings true: "If I judge myself too harshly, my anger and rejection will amplify, and my emotions will be 'discharged' in my breasts, which become the symbol of my 'failure.' So, breast cancer is trying to help me become aware that I am in a conflicting situation, which can be related to myself or someone else, concerning an element of my vital space, my 'little nest'".

What if our bodies were whispering to us, long before this abrupt diagnosis, signalling that all was not well? What if we'd been struggling with negative self-perceptions, devoid of positive emotions, unable to smile, laugh, and accept love and care?

Our bodies are in constant conversation with us; it's high time we listened!

When these suppressed emotions linger without resolution, they can materialize in our bodies, according to body-mind experts, emphasizing it would the result of a sequence of unresolved emotional conflicts and wounds, rooted in deep-seated emotional turmoil. They propose that our bodies communicate through illnesses, and it's our duty to decipher and confront these messages. This holistic perspective underscores the profound connection between our emotional well-being and our physical health.

Breast cancer, in particular, is often associated with emotional patterns connected to the flow of love, where women who suppress their pain due to a deficiency of self-love often encounter:

- Issues with Giving and Receiving Love

- Challenges with Forgiveness

- Struggles with Compassion

- Difficulties finding Joy

Lise Bourbeau eloquently sums it up: "Many people are affected by it because it has become urgent for them, as for all of us, to learn to love themselves instead of rejecting themselves and wanting to change. So, cancer is a spiritual message. It's the soul crying out for help because it needs love".

Dear women, dear friends, it's time to love and heal our breasts.

1. Release the Need to Carry Others: Abandon the compulsion to excessively care for and control the lives of those you love. It's vital to learn to delegate and seek help when you need it.

2. Say No When Necessary: Embrace the power of 'no,' and prioritize saying 'yes' to yourself. Don't say 'yes' solely to gain the approval of others. Love and care for those around you without expecting reciprocity.

3. Accept Receiving: Welcome the art of receiving. Don't be afraid to ask, as asking opens the door to receiving love and support. Allow these positive energies to flow into your life without hesitation.

What if the power to heal laid in our hands, not only physically but also emotionally? What if self-love, forgiveness, and taking responsibility for our own journey were the tools that led us toward healing?

What if it was a message from our inner selves, a call to confront our emotional burdens and to embrace the healing power of forgiveness, love, and self-acceptance.

"To heal this wound, you must truly forgive yourself. Only by reconciling with your mother and forgiving yourself can you hope for a radical transformation. Combine this inner and spiritual work with physical treatment, and hope will be on your side". — Lise Bourbeau

The quest for balance, realising that you sometimes forget yourself and live too much for others, is crucial. It's vital for your mental and physical well-being that you connect with your emotions and realize that excessive care for others can sometimes be a way to avoid your own needs.

But what if we started to regard this diagnosis as a fresh start rather than a conclusion? What if it marked the beginning of us treating ourselves with greater care, truly loving ourselves, and embracing help and love from others?

Consider, for a moment, the difference we could collectively make in the world, not just for ourselves but for every woman who faces these challenges. What if, by sharing our wisdom, support, and love, we light the way for others on their journey towards well-being and self-acceptance?

It's not just about personal transformation; it's about creating a ripple effect of empowerment, healing, and unity, starting with me, with you, with all of us.

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My heart goes to the women who have thrived, shared their wisdom, had unwavering faith, held hands with one another and faced challenges – your strength and resilience are my inspiration on this journey of self-discovery and transformation.